Simplifying the Ethanol Fuel Issue 1 - 2 - 3
By Marc J. Rauch
Author of THE ETHANOL PAPERS
Exec. Vice President/Co-Publisher
THE AUTO CHANNEL
I told my sister I would think about the situation and try to come up with a solution.
After reviewing many of my editorials and reports that I've written over the years, I decided that the best way to deal with the problem is to just offer blanket responses to any negative comments. You see, the key to understanding the anti-ethanol attacks is that all of the negative claims are false. Regardless of the age of the negative comment, who issued the derogatory statement, or the specific area of attack (i.e., ethanol causes engine damage, sucks water from the air, creates more pollution, costs too much, turned real music into rap music, etc.), they are all false. I proved this with the publication of my all-encompassing 641-page book.
Because the word "simple" is often tied in with the most basic of all numbers, 1 - 2 - 3, I'm using this time-tested numbering system in my new simplistic approach to responding to ethanol-haters and their false claims. To make it even easier to use and understand, I'm not even going to waste precious time referring to any specific negative claim being made since they are all false. I'll only use one of three simple replies.
HERE THEY ARE:<
1. You're wrong.
2. You don't know what you're talking about.
3. You're not really that stupid, are you?
There you have it, it's just that simple. Try it out for yourself and see how quickly you can get comfortable with this new approach. I suggest doing some role playing with your spouse and kids, or neighbors and co-workers (by phone or Skype, of course, to retain social distancing). The following are some sample scripts you might like to try:
CO-WORKER: "The police can give your car a DUI citation for using ethanol in the fuel system.
REPLY: You're wrong. (Note: Some states refer to drunk driving as DWI.)
SON or DAUGHTER: Only engines over 21 years old are allowed to use ethanol fuel.
REPLY: You don't know what you're talking about.
SPOUSE: "Hey honey, ethanol is so corrosive that it can burn through Superman's cape.
REPLY: You're not really that stupid, are you?
The one trick question or statement that requires greater clarification is:
NEIGHBOR: Rap music was created by drinkers who mistook E85 for a popular brand of urban beer.
REPLY: It's very possible, E85 contains gasoline, and gasoline is poisonous enough to have caused it.
Good luck and have fun.