Blizzard Conditions and Road Closures Force State of Emergency Declaration - California and Hawaii Sue Trump
BREAKING NEWS and TRAVEL ADVISORY
SACRAMENTO - February 20, 2019: Extreme winter conditions affecting several northeast states have snarled traffic, cancelled thousands of flights, and severely threaten the supply of road salt to last out the winter. These intense conditions have necessitated a Declaration of a State of Emergency in New Jersey. In response to the declaration, California and Hawaii have filed lawsuits against President Donald Trump.
Meanwhile, about three thousand miles to the west, Hawaii's Governor What's-His-Name tweeted out the following message: "Ditto with us, if Trump bans California's earthquakes, he'll then be emboldened to mess with our erupting volcanoes. Volcanoes serve the same tourism benefit to us. Without the urgent fear that Hawaii will go the way of Krakatoa and Pompeii, tourism may decline by 50% or more. It keeps everyone on their toes, and while we're not crazy enough to consider raising all state taxes 400%, we believe that our residents will gladly welcome increases in the 300% to 350% range. After all, some of the money will go to building walls around our islands to prevent the ocean from inundating us because of global climate change. Walls will be our salvation!"
It is expected that Colorado will join the new law suit against Donald Trump as soon as they satisfy their "munchies."
In a related news media story, famous radio broadcaster Rush Limbaugh is said to be considering a law suit against the Hawaii governor for using the word "ditto" without his written permission.*
This fake news story was gleefully written by The Auto Channel's executive vice president/co-publisher, Marc Rauch.
*Persons who are not fans of Rush Limbaugh may not understand the reference to the word "ditto." To them we can only say: "See what you've been missing all these years?"