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Green-nik Nuts Invent New Weapons To Fight Ecco War

London - January 30, 2006: John-Paul Flintoff, writing for The Times in Great Britain, reports that "ECO-VIGILANTES" have discover that letting the air out of tires might be the best, and safest way to fight the growing popularity of SUVs; safe, that is, from the threat of getting arrested for vandalism.

It seems that the Green-niks have construed local laws to read that it is legal if the vehicles sustained no damage. Some claims even indicate that air-letting has been committed in front of police officers, without any consequences. Flintoff states that the movement began in Paris late last year and has since spread to other cities in France (why am I not surprised), Belgium and Holland. Protesters in Italy, Spain and Germany have begun their own similar attach. British environmentalists who adopt a gentler approach, in addition to the general public, I suppose, are worried that deflating may become a popular tactic. It will be interesting to see if it catches on in North America, as well.

Apparently, the groups compete to see who can let down the most tires in a night. On December 14,2005, Belgians deflated the tires of 137 off-roaders. The most difficult part of the task is to let air out slowly, so the vehicle's alarm does not go off. To avoid the possibility of owners driving off with flat tires and putting lives in danger, campaigners leave documents on windows explaining what they have done. The Times report quotes a spokesman for a Paris group, who calls himself Sub-Adjutant Marrant (Joker). Mr. Joker argues that drivers of 4x4s do not care that their vehicles emit disproportionate amounts of carbon dioxide, and that politicians are scared of the car lobby. "We emphasize the comic, the burlesque side," he said. "It would be hard to take us to court. We don't slash tires; we deflate them. Air doesn't cost anything." Hmmm, in many American service stations air costs at least twenty five cents.

On the other hand, protesters in another French city were caught last weekend by the owner of a Mercedes SUV, who had them arrested. Not content with letting the air out, these air-heads had also smeared mud over the vehicle, to emphasize that it was designed for rural use. "I spent a few hours at the police station," said a young member of the group, anxious not to be identified. "I am very afraid of what will happen."

Protesters in Britain have urged a different approach. "Before the groups in France did this for the first time," said Sian Berry, of the British Alliance Against Urban 4x4s, "they got in touch with us. They said they'd had a brilliant idea. "Our initial reaction was that it's quite amusing, and clever to have established that they aren't breaking the law. But if just one person needs to go to hospital in a hurry and their 4x4 has a flat tire, the joke won't seem so funny. The campaign will be finished." The British group seeks to change the minds of the vehicles' owners by placing spoof parking tickets on windscreens. These contain information about the vehicle's demerits, written in a gently teasing way.

The tickets were an American idea. Earth On Empty, based in Massachusetts, claims its supporters have issued more than one million "violation earth" tickets in 500 cities and 48 states. And yet another American group put stickers on SUVs saying: "I'm changing the climate, ask me how." But when owners found that removing the stickers caused damage to paint work, the group was sued, and the tactic ended.

Aggressive opposition to large vehicles in America continue to flourish, however. A website, www.fuh2.com, invites people to submit photographs of themselves "saluting" Hummers with an upraised middle finger. Thousands have obliged, including some in Britain.

Marc J. Rauch - TACH Auto Central