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TACH 1997 Coverage of Indy 500 - News Archive - Top 10 Driver Pet Peeves

Indy Top Ten Lists

Top 10 Indianapolis 500 Driver Pet Peeves

10. Radio loses FM signal in fourth turn.

9. You crash going 200 mph and you end up in a Marv Albert blooper reel.

8. Suction cup Garfield blocks view of track.

7. Going fast is scary!

6. Having to take a leak with 100 laps left.

5. Forgetting to remove "the Club" before the race starts.

4. When the tape player eats your "Chorus Line" cassette before you've even gone 50 laps.

3. People who pronounce it "Grand Prix."

2. When wife says you lack viscosity.

1. Potholes.

10. Drivers who want a free NFL mug with every fill-up.

9. Being played in the movies by Jim Nabors.

8. Racers in such a hurry to get out of pit they run over your origami birds.

7. For the rest of your life, any time you're in a car that gets a flat, everyone just assumes that you should fix it.

6. They keep blacking out the good parts of the Rob Lowe video.

5. It's hard to pick up chicks while reeking of methane.

4. The way those suction-cup Garfield dolls fall off at 230 miles per hour.

3. Joke T-shirts that say "Pit Crew Guys Do It in Seven Seconds".

2. Really big dogs who get themselves booked on TV shows and then don't show up.

1. Those pansies at Jiffy-Lube.

10. Getting showered with 10W-40 in victory lane celebration.

9. Honorary New York City taxi license.

8. Right to represent Earth in Pan-Galactic Monster Truck Rally.

7. Invitation to start Mr. Gotti's car for him.

6. Good chance of meeting Kamaar the Magician backstage at Letterman show.

5. Don't have to shut off lights and lock up speedway like guy who finishes last.

4. Get to throw one free punch at Mr. Goodwrench.

3. Offers of employment from Domino's Pizza.

2. Trophy, bouquet of roses, and a big, wet kiss from Jim Nabors.

1. All the Valvoline a guy can drink.

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