Autoextremist Views the GM2000 Unveiling
27 October 1999
Special GM 2000 Show Car Edition as originaly published in Autoextremist.
In an obvious counterattack move in the PR wars with Ford and DCX, over
the weekend GM took the wraps off computer images of its new show cars
for the upcoming season. Using a defensive, Stuart Smalley-like tone
(I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darn-it, I'm worthy
enough!")in the accompanying press release, GM is hoping to prove that
they are all the way back with this new array of show stoppers. We'll
see. You can look them up for yourselves in Monday's USA Today
Business section or in Automotive News. We'll provide our own
commentary as follows:
1. Chevrolet SSR. Proving that GM has
mega talent lurking in those cubicles
at Design Staff, the SSR performance
truck is light years better than
anything Ford and DCX has shown (so
far). Confident and cool, this truck
should be put into production
immediately.
2. Buick LaCrosse. Embracing the
car/truck idiom in a very stylish and
classy way, the LaCrosse should be
another hit come January.
3. Chevrolet Traverse. Chevy should
quit screwing around with whatever
version they're working on for the
next Blazer and skip right to this
one. The proportions are masterful
(even if we don't like SUVs).
4. GMC Terradyne. Reminiscent of the
hot 50s GMC Tractor used in that
ancient favorite show "Cannonball,"
this truck humbles the "tough truck"
show iterations from Ford and DCX.
Another one of those "what are they
waiting for?" questions for GM's
decision-makers.
5. Opel CVC, Saturn CV1 & Oldsmobile
Profile. Three more renditions of the
car/truck/mini-van hybrid, these are
all competent and benign to look at.
But someone needs to say "enough is
enough" with these concepts, before
they get out of hand.
6. Cadillac 2000 Concept. Excuse us,
but we spoke to soon. It already is
out of hand as evidenced with this
embarrassing monster attributed to
Cadillac. The answer to the question
that absolutely no one is asking,
this wretched four-door "cruck" is a
crock. So much for reinforcing the
brand that is allegedly supposed to
be "The Standard Of The World."
7. Pontiac Piranha. Ah yes, last, but
certainly not least, this disaster
from Pontiac makes the Cadillac look
somewhat appealing. A couple of years
ago, Pontiac "designers" gave us what
they called the "'Rageous," which was
quickly dubbed the "'Diculous" for
obvious reasons. Then last year, they
let some misguided young "designer"
do his rendition of the GTO, which
was literally laughed out of Cobo
Hall. And now we have the
appropriately named "Piranha," which
proves once and for all that the
Pontiac "design team" is the finest
puveyor of Clown Cars in the world.
The Piranha is overwrought, overdrawn
and just plain overkill. Hideous from
stem to stern, it's "show" cars like
these that should have GMPR rethink
its advance press release hype.
