Unique Features of Company Cars (FUNNY)

06/06/96

Company Cars have the following features rarely found in Private Cars:

• They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse.
• They accelerate at a phenomenal rate.
• They have a much shorter braking distance.
• They have a much tighter turning circle.
• They can take ramps (or any other hazard) at twice the speed of private cars.
• Battery, water, oil and tyre pressures do not need to be checked nearly so often.
• The floor is shaped like an ashtray.
• They only burn the most expensive petrol.
• They do not need to be garaged at night.
• They can be driven miles with the oil warning light flashing.
• They very seldom need cleaning, especially inside.
• The suspension is reinforced to permit carriage of concrete slabs or other heavy building materials for weekend DIY work.
• They are specially adapted to allow reverse gear to be engaged whilst the car is still moving forward.
• The tyre walls are designed to allow bumping into and over kerbstones.
• Unusual or alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by the adjustment of the fitted radio volume control knob.
• No security needed - may be left unlocked with the keys in the ignition.
• They are designed to tow loads far exceeding normal and are suited for backing into water at loading ramps.
• No need to take the foot off the clutch while waiting for the lights to change.
• Much better for the 17 year olds to learn driving in.