Service From First To Last - Hyundai Moves Into Funerals

HIGH WYCOMBE, UNITED KINGDOM – March 31, 2010: The arrival of a new car – especially a Hyundai – is certain to cause plenty of excitement for the new owner. However, even this elation is often tinged with a little sadness about the fate of the old car being left behind.

Research by Hyundai has revealed that some such customers feel guilty abandoning their cars to an unknown fate, and are looking for a way to give their trade-in a dignified way out.

“These old cars are often seen as members of the family by their owners”, said Dr May Kenetahp, head of Insipientia at Lirpa College of Higher Education. “These people wouldn’t drown a dog just because it becomes incontinent and dribbles on the carpet, so they don’t feel they can crush a car when it starts to leak oil or blows a head gasket.”

To cater for these sensitive souls, Hyundai is to become the first manufacturer in the world to offer discreet, dignified and dedicated disposals for old cars. Rather than being unceremoniously crushed, one of two Hyundai accredited companies – AP Rhyl and PH Ohul – will collect the deceased motor and take it to one of three new ‘Garages of Rest’, conveniently situated in public parks and beauty spots around the UK.

Once there, Hyundai offers a selection of ways to ensure your car is never forgotten. A full burial, where the car is actually put into the ground in its entirety, costs just £2,000 – exactly the same as the scrappage allowance.

For customers who want a slightly cheaper option or just didn’t like the car that much, Hyundai will ‘cuddle’ it into a compact cube and then bury that for just £1,500.

The last option, designed to appeal to the most impecunious and yet still sentimental buyers, is to take a selected component from the beat-up banger and bury it in Hyundai’s Car Park of Remembrance.

Most owners selecting this option are expected to choose a number plate from the car, which will only be partially buried, therefore saving on a memorial plaque too. This option can be had for as little as £750.

One of the first customers to sign up was Mrs Dapoynt from Dunover. She said: “I liked my old car so much I gave her a name and put really funny stickers in the back window and everything. But she had become a bit naughty in her old age and left me stranded by the side of a busy, dark motorway on several occasions. It was time to put an end to our suffering.”

Mrs Dapoynt looked at finding her car a new home but was surprised when no one was willing to pay £2,000 for her 12 year old hatchback. So she decided to put Hyundai’s generous scrappage contribution to good use and buy a new traffic jam companion.

As the Hyundai offered such good value, Mrs Dapoynt was then able to use the change to buy a humane disposal for her old car. “I decided to go for option ‘B’ so Trixi could fit into a more compact parking space after completing her trip to car heaven,” she said.

Trixi was gently massaged into a cube by an accredited ‘Car Cuddler’ and taken to her final resting place in a specially-adapted Hyundai iLoad van.

“It was an emotional ceremony, but immediately after the sandwiches and low-alcohol sherry I was handed the keys to my new i10 so I could start the bonding process as soon as possible. I hope Trixi isn’t listening, but I think I love my i10 more than her now! She’s great looking, good to drive and better on fule too.”